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Respect The Referral: Don’t Ghost Your Contact’s Contact

The Importance of Respecting Professional Relationships: Why Ghosting Contacts is a Breach of Courtesy

In the world of business and professional networking, relationships are often the most valuable asset anyone can have. Building a strong network requires time, effort, and trust. A significant part of nurturing professional relationships involves the art of introductions, referrals, and favors. These acts are often done with the intention of helping others advance in their careers or business endeavors, and they are driven by goodwill and mutual respect.

However, there is a growing issue in the professional space: people who seek help, ask for introductions, and request favors from their contacts, or their contacts’ contacts – only to disappear or “ghost” them when they find a resource elsewhere. This behavior not only reflects poorly on the person who is being disrespectful but also damages the trust and rapport that their contacts and networks have worked hard to build.

It is essential to understand that using someone’s network is a privilege, not a right, and treating those who assist you with the courtesy and respect they deserve is critical for maintaining a strong, mutually beneficial professional relationship.

In this article, we will explore why respecting professional relationships and following through on introductions, referrals, and favors is a matter of professional integrity, and we will look at the negative impact of failing to do so.

Professional Relationships Are Built on Trust

Professional relationships are often forged through the act of helping one another. When a person refers you to a contact or introduces you to someone within their network, they are making a personal investment in you. They’re vouching for your character, skills, or business needs. It’s a form of goodwill that requires trust and a mutual understanding that the favor will not be taken for granted.

It takes a significant amount of effort to build these types of relationships, especially when it comes to making introductions. A contact may not introduce you to just anyone—they are putting their own reputation on the line. This is why it is so important to honor these connections and maintain the trust and respect they have placed in you. If you don’t, you risk damaging not only your relationship with the person who helped you, but also your relationship with others in their network.

The Problem with Ghosting

When people ask for introductions, referrals, or help, and then they disappear after finding an alternative solution, they are engaging in what is known as “ghosting.” In the professional world, ghosting is especially harmful because it leaves the person who made the introduction or provided the referral in a difficult position. They have gone out of their way to help you, and in return, you show no gratitude or acknowledgment when you no longer need their assistance. Worse, they may be left wondering whether you found the right fit, or if they introduced you to someone who didn’t meet your expectations.

Ghosting undermines trust. It’s not just a one-off incident—it can have long-lasting consequences that affect future opportunities for both you and the person who helped you. Let’s break down why this is an issue:

1. It Disrespects the Primary Contact’s Efforts

When you ask someone for a favor, you’re essentially asking them to go out on a limb for you. They are investing their time and their relationships to support you. By failing to respond or acknowledge the favor once it’s no longer necessary, you show a lack of respect for their time and effort. A simple thank-you message or follow-up is a basic form of professional courtesy that lets them know their efforts weren’t in vain.

2. It Disrespects the Contact Who Was Introduced

One of the most damaging aspects of ghosting is that it not only disrespects the person who made the introduction but also the person to whom you were introduced. That individual took time out of their day to meet you, hear your pitch, or listen to your business needs. Ghosting them, or not following up after the initial contact, shows that you didn’t value their time or the opportunity to build a meaningful relationship with them.

Moreover, if you’ve found a resource or solution elsewhere, the least you can do is let the person who helped you know. This is especially important if you’ve made promises or set up meetings based on their referral. Communication is key to maintaining good will on both sides.

3. It Damages Your Professional Reputation

In professional settings, your reputation is one of the most valuable assets you have. When you repeatedly fail to follow through on connections or fail to acknowledge the help of others, it can quickly spread through your network. Word of mouth is a powerful tool in the business world, and if you are known for being disrespectful or inconsiderate of others’ time, it can lead to missed opportunities in the future. People will be less inclined to help you again or introduce you to others.

4. It Creates a Disconnect in Future Networking Opportunities

In the professional world, networking is built on reciprocity. While you may ask for help today, you may need it again in the future. By not following through on your commitments or maintaining communication, you make it harder to call upon those same people in the future. They may be less inclined to offer their network or time to someone who has previously disregarded their efforts.

How to Respect Professional Relationships

1. Follow Up If you were introduced to someone, make sure to follow up. Even if you found a solution elsewhere, send a quick message to both the person who helped you and the person you were introduced to. Let them know the outcome and thank them for their time.
2. Show Appreciation When someone goes out of their way to help you, it’s essential to show gratitude. A simple thank-you message or acknowledgment can go a long way in preserving that relationship.
3. Be Transparent If you find a solution elsewhere, let your contact know that you no longer require the introduction or assistance. Transparency is important in building trust and shows that you respect their time and effort.
4. Stay Engaged Building professional relationships takes time. After a successful introduction or referral, continue to engage with those people. Attend industry events, follow up on occasional updates, or offer your help in return. Networking is a two-way street.
5. Offer Reciprocity Networking is not just about what you can get from others but also what you can give back. If you can help someone in return, whether it’s an introduction, a referral, or advice, do so. Reciprocity helps create a lasting, meaningful relationship.

Conclusion

Respecting professional relationships is crucial for long-term success. Ghosting someone who has gone out of their way to help you—whether through an introduction, a referral, or a favor—is not only disrespectful but also detrimental to your reputation and future networking opportunities. Always remember that professional relationships are built on trust, courtesy, and follow-through. When you value the effort of those helping you and maintain respectful communication, you not only preserve those relationships but also set yourself up for future success in your career or business endeavors.

Paul Fioravanti, MBA, MPA, CTP, is the CEO & Managing Partner of QORVAL Partners, LLC, a FL-based advisory firm (founded 1996 by Jim Malone, six-time Fortune 100/500 CEO) Qorval is a US-based turnaround, restructuring, business optimization and interim management firm. Fioravanti is a proven turnaround CEO with experience in more than 90 situations in more than 40 industries. He earned his MBA and MPA from the University of Rhode Island and completed advanced post-master’s research in finance and marketing at Bryant University. He is a Certified Turnaround Professional and member of the Turnaround Management Association, the Private Directors Association, Association for Corporate Growth (ACG), Association of Merger & Acquisition Advisors (AM&MA), the American Bankruptcy Institute, and IMCUSA. Copyright 2024, Qorval Partners LLC and/or Paul Fioravanti, MBA, MPA, CTP. All rights reserved. No reproduction or redistribution without permission.

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